This is me

The best thing for me...

Such a wild thought. Such a wild gesture... The conversations I have with my daily latte always develop in strange ways... But this path was wild. Most importantly, ground was covered that can't be taken back... So I have to keep walking, not absent of tears.

Today, I have really come to realize that I'm unique. Actually, I'm freeking weird. My goals, values, and choices have developed in to this unique lifestyle I enjoy... and all too often I fail to acknowledge the creativity I have poured in to all this. How clearly this expresses me. What I do. The people around me. The causes that I love to pour in to. The depth and intensity of conversation that I so love... and equally, the things I hate. The places that bring me no pleasure. The many activities I would rather quietly sit out of than participate...

Please understand that I'm not being judgmental. This isn't about what's right and wrong... it's simply a matter of what is "me" and what isn't "me"... and I'm weird.

So, although I'm not sure what "the best thing for me" looks like, I know that it won't look like most other things... it's going to have to be much more obscure... maybe even weird. But I believe that heart exists.

Therefore, I pray for the courage to be myself, even to the fault of indignation. At my own embarrassment, I want to act out my being with as little shame possible... knowing that I don't quite fit in to most places. And that's okay... because this capacity to love within me is far to great for me to give up.