Simple songs being butchered and notes in wrong timing read. The sound is not as sweet as I would like, but intriguing none the less. It awakens a part of my brain that will not die no matter how much I neglect it. This crappy keyboard tells me I am creative.

I'm stressed out. All these fragmented thoughts I dare not put together. It needs to stop. The blankness in my mind that I let consume me. I need to work through the disarray, and not be afraid of what I will find. My thoughts are not bad. My love is real. My God is true. I can be creative and create good things. I can be loved.

Father, renew my mind. Refresh my spirit. Open the eyes of my understanding. Thank you for my wife. Amen

I would love to type out something insightful, but my creative drive seems completely depleted. I don't quite understand the longing. To be insightful or creative just for the sake of being insightful or creative. Maybe that's the problem right there.

I believe that creativity should flow naturally out of spirituality. Therefore, creativity can be the natural outworking of the supernatural, which is profoundly insightful.

I have no insights.
I long for depth.

I can pray.

Praise be to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has given us new life, into a new hope that will not perish.

Amen.

Redefinition

I started writing for the simple purpose of trying to find out where to go from here ('here' clearly being relative to my situation at the time). I titled my blog, "The Next Step" because I felt that was always, all I needed. Beyond the next step was irrelevant, because when you're lost, one step in the right direction makes all the difference. My optimistic spirit was convinced that the rest would work itself out.

However, now the tables have turned.

I found my error when I tried to add up all of these abstract, obscure ideas. I carefully placed them in to a pile, then added heat. I melted them down in to one huge introspective lens. I set it up with myself as the target. Do you know what I saw?

Nothing. Well not really nothing, but it might as well have been nothing. It didn't matter.

Then I figured it out. The goal of every post was to help me take that one step. That step has now been taken. I have chosen my path, it's with the girl I love. I have chosen to take her, and journey with her. She is now square one, and the steps have changed.

This is nothing less than a redefinition of reality.
This is a redefinition of self.

God, fill this space. Make it so full that it might stop time. Time has turned on me. Make it stop.

Oh that I may follow you, that I might know You and Your ways.

I know that there is a hand. It's stretched out so far that I can't see where it comes from. It searches all day and night for me. How I wish it could find me now. Find us.

Grace and mercy, please find me, I know you're sufficient.



"So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten,
Suns are like birds flying always over the mountain."

-Iron and Wine "Upward over the mountain"