Redefinition

Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

This often seems like a cycle to me... and often, it seems like too much to bare. My heart always seems to be on the front lines. It gets beaten and calloused. Bitterness takes over, and the only defense of the heart is to build walls. Then God comes in, and starts breaking away the walls. The friction of the stones being ripped off... the mortar being broken... almost always brings me to my knees. In the end, revealing something so soft and pure, although weak and gasping for breath.

A heart of flesh.

The process leaves me in awe of His grace as throw myself at the feet of my healer. I'm always amazed by the capacity of a heart of flesh. The power to walk in love. To freely give. To uphold those that do not have the capacity to turn and uphold you. I meet God here, as I am amazed at how much my soft, vulnerable heart can give.
But before long, I find myself hurt... and the cycle repeats itself.

Maybe you're like me, maybe you're not. Maybe you've found the perfect distance as to how far down your sleeve, you should wear your heart. Not too close to keep people out... but not too far to protect it from potential hurt.
I haven't found this perfect distance... and I'm not even sure if it exists.

I want to stay soft. I want to be human. Respecting the power of love... how dangerous it really is... and completely essential to life itself.

My comfort comes from my healer and all the convictions that He has placed inside me. The essence of maturity, is placing those convictions over my emotions and feelings.

Philippians 1:9-11 Tells me that my love should abound, and with God this brings knowledge and discernment. That through openly loving, I can prove what is excellent, and sincerely give myself to that. The fruit that will come out of that will be pleasing to God, because it is righteous and pure.

This is a conviction of my heart, and it is more powerful than all the stress that my emotions can throw my way.

Lord, help me love. Your grace is amazing.